The summer after kindergarten, my dad took a chance to follow a lifelong dream. He packed his bags with two weeks full of clothes, put a few containers of my mom’s lemon cake cookies in the car, and headed to Kansas City to attend Auctioneer School. Weeks prior and post his attendance, he trained himself for successful rapid articulation by listening to and repeating over and over various tongue twisters.
My five year old ears molded around those silly words. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers became a sing song. Followed by, “Tommy Attat-a-mus took two tees, tied them to the top of two tall trees.” That summer, my dad graduated top of his auctioneer class, and I, his mockingbird daughter, had acquired a lifelong skill – or at least a stupid human trick.
(sweet talker Betty Crocker - through the years)
To this day, I can recite any of the above lyrics at warp speed. Friends have asked to record it to make it their ring tone for me. I haven’t obliged. They particularly get a kick out of my favorite tongue twister to “perform” – which I can say in about 6.7 seconds (yeah, I might have timed myself once or twice.) Give it a shot and see how you do…
Betty Botter bought some butter,
“But,” she said, “the butter’s bitter;
If I put it in my batter,
It will make my batter bitter;
But a bit of better butter,
That would make my batter better.”
So she bought a bit of butter,
Better than her bitter butter,
And she put it in her batter,
And the batter was not bitter;
So ’twas better Betty Botter
Bought a bit of better butter.
Good ol’ Betty.
Even as I race through her story, I’m thankful she’s the rhyme that sticks with me the most.
I need to be reminded constantly about bitter versus better.
There are times in our lives things don’t go as planned. I’ve sat across from friends who have told me their grand schemes and dreams to improve their business. They hit some snags and obstacles. The business fell apart or stayed exactly the same. I know folks who in the midst of the rat race received a diagnosis that set them on a totally different life course. There are parents whose children can’t keep up with the other kids due to disabilities. There are women who in addition to children and husband and job are finding themselves caring for a parent or sibling. Families have broken apart because somebody got bored. Jobs went away. Savings accounts demolished. I know good people who did all the hard work and somebody else took all the credit. What about the girl who finally finds the perfect guy until he turns out not to be not so perfect. 4000 miles were logged on the treadmill and the scale didn’t move one inch. The dream job is a nightmare. Somebody smeared another’s reputation …for the fun of it. You name it, we probably have been in one of these scenarios. It’s no wonder we often feel – Disappointed. Angry. Confused. Exhausted.
These feelings are normal reactions. The problem begins when we let ourselves begin to stew in these feelings. When we allow our hearts to remain and marinate in that disappointment, anger, confusion, and exhaustion, the result is bitterness.
I look back on a lot of things in my life that didn’t go as planned. We moved my sophomore year of high school. I was the new kid. I didn’t fit. For years, I blamed that for many of the reasons things didn’t go like the Sweet Valley Book in my head. I became chubby because food became my friend. I didn’t have a boyfriend because I was chubby. That’s not the truth. It’s blame and bitterness. Twenty years later, I am thankful. I see that God was protecting me. In those high school years, he protected my heart and set my life on course to live for Him.
A few years ago, I had two jobs back to back that were complete and utter chaos. They had been billed to me as opportunities for career growth. I walked away from both experiences exhausted, disillusioned and doubting my abilities. Initially, I felt I didn’t grow my career. I wasted my time. I was a little bitter. And it showed.
Now, I can see I did learn so much. I learned what not to do. I learned to examine every “great” oppportunty” with a fine tooth comb. I built a huge network of colleagues and friends in other arenas which led to a job I like.
Whether it is high school or those disappointing gigs, I can honestly say I look back on them now and know they made me better.
I’m striving to be able to say this about all things. I have a very long way to go.
Often the bitterness creeps in and the snark makes its way to my tongue. When I hear critical things people have said about me or I view a situation through my “ what about me?” lens, suddenly a floodgate of vinegar floods around my heart. The marinating begins. I feel it.
And I want it to stop.
I don’t want a bitter heart. I want a better heart.
You’ve probably seen the sign – especially if you are on Pinterest: “It can make you bitter or it can make you better.”
It’s true. It’s a choice.
Sometimes those choices can come in an instant. Sometimes it takes time.
Sometimes it’s an everyday choice of laying the bitterness down at Christ’s feet and walking away.
It just donned on me as I write this…When Christ hung on that cross over 2000 years ago, the soldiers gave him a rag soaked in vinegar for refreshment. He turned his head. He didn’t take the bitterness. (Matthew 27:34)
We should do the same.
Don’t choose the bitterness.
Be a Betty.
Buy a bit of better butter. Put it in your bitter batter.
It will make your batter.. and your heart better.
graciously,
Boots
xxoo
