Ah, Labor Day – the day on every southern belle’s calendar she dutifully packs up her white pants, dresses, skirts, and shoes and neatly packs them away until Easter. Au revoir, fresh clean airy looks. While I sit here in this glorious seventy something degree weather, I am beginning to feel the inkling of fall. School is in session and football teams have won or lost their first games of the season. I’m getting excited for new fashions. With a nickname like Boots and a love of shoes, you can bet your bottom dollar I’m all about some knee-high footwear that I will wait to wear until….OCTOBER 15TH! Yes, you heard me. Technically, sweet friends, the moon says it is still summer. Autumnal equinox - the official start of Autumn does not occur until September 23. Until then, there are a myriad of fun shoes – suede sandals, pumps, and other kicks to sport. (I’ll share some of my top picks later this week)
Although I won’t be wearing boots for another 5 weeks, it hasn’t stopped me from taking a spin on the internets to plan my fall/ winter couture. I was rather astounded when I came upon some quite …..let’s say unique boots.
Remember how sweet momma taught us, “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.” The following boots have left me …well, for momma’s sake, speechless. If nothing else, these boots will definitely give you a good laugh. I’ll do my best to say something nice…
First up, The Edythe Boot in Alabaster. It’s white. It’s a boot. After Labor Day.
The only time I can imagine wearing this boot is with my All White Ski Chalet outfit when I am in my super sleuth spy cave in Antarctica planning world domination.
Hmmmmm. Very Int-er-esting.

This might be the perfect boot for those dead set on wearing boots right now.
Because, it is still technically summer and this is the South, rest assured we’ll be back to mid 90 temperatures by mid month.
This will give your toes a little air conditioning.

When the winter time comes, The Onisutku -Tiger may be the perfect boot for running a race…in the snow.
Is that a sport? Snow marathons?
If so, you’re in luck. And they are patriotic… to boot. ha! Get it – to boot.

Everyone LOVES a mash-up when it comes to music. What about movie mash-ups?
What would happen if Saving Private Ryan and Pretty Woman were re-made together. That would be interesting for wardrobe.
Luckily we have these over the knee hiking boots.
Oh and they are a bargain at $1520. It’s a good thing Edward has money.

Speaking of movies, Didn’t you adore star wars? Wasn’t Chewbacca the best?
Well, guess what, you can look like him from your knee down.
Thanks, Prada.

More Space favorites. “Mork calling Orson, come in Orson. Mork calling Orson. Hey, Orson, I want to thank you for these boots you sent Mindy.
We don’t have things like this on Earth. Well, we didn’t until our little 70′s tv show inspired Marc Jacobs.”

Oh, and back to the mash-up madness ( This seems to be adistrubring trend I’ve discovered).
If you ever need the perfect shoe to sail your Yellow submarine down Penny Lane. Your are in luck.

I once saw a news story about this poor soul who has a virus that causes his body to grow bark like growths which make him look like a tree.
( I will spare you a picture for the weak-stomached. Google “tree man” if you dare).
That is exactly what I thought about when I first saw these shoes. I know momma said to say something nice. Here goes.
At least these are only shoes that can easily be removed and not a bark skin virus.

As I said, this mash-up trend is rampant. I’ve saved the most offensive ones for last. I wish they were urban shoe myths. But they are real, my friends.
Oh look, it’s a Mary Jane and Fall’s hottest snakeskin trend as one. (Say something nice. Say Something nice… ok here goes)
It’s Prada.

And lastly, good ol Prada. This season they really cover all the bases – Whether you want to look like Chewbaca, a snake wearing a boot,
or maybe – just maybe you want to look like a white person wearing an ankle wrap shoe.

Oh and one more thing the least expensive boots pictured above are $198. The Most Expensive $2500 – all are available via Neiman Marcus or Yoox.com just in case you want to verify this uniqueness exists.
Well, I know fall is in the air, but hunker down and wait until October 15 to bring out your favorite boots …or at least until the Autumanal Equinox. And for heaven’s sake, don’t you dare wear an ugly boot and don’t let your friends wear ugly boots. There’s just no excuse. You can’t even blame that on the moon.
Wishing you lots of love and Laughter this week,
Boots
xxoo