tuesday’s child: ladies who lunch

For years, while counseling folks on what not to eat and the importance of not skipping meals, I rarely had the chance to eat lunch myself. Some days I had just a few minutes to grab a quick bite in the hospital cafeteria between patients. Pair that with the fact my office was 1/2 mile walk from food, it made it even harder to carve out time to dine. (Thinking back on this, no wonder I had a 24 inch waist back then)

I had heard of other people meeting in restaurants to meet girlfriends – but rarely experienced it myself. When I did get to venture beyond campus I would see them. You know, the ladies who were nicely coiffed. Some in business attire. Some in tennis skirts. They had “usuals” on the menu. They laughed. They talked about charity events or difficult clients. They languished in conversations. They were the modern version of ladies who lunch.

As I set my site on a different career, I made sure that one criteria my new job would meet is flexibility to meet new folks and see old friends during the day. In the past few years, that has become a reality. I’ve become a lady who lunches.

According to wikipedia a lady who lunches is described as a slim, well-off, old-money, well-dressed woman who meets for lunch socially, normally during the working week. Typically, the women involved are married and non-working. Normally the lunch is in a restaurant, perhaps in a department store during shopping.

What a lovely definition. One that I find woefully inadequate. Some of my friends are “slim” and “old money” And if you want to refer to me as such, please feel free. I’m neither – but I’d let those slip. I am married, but some of my friends who lunch are not. Most of us have our own style, which may be defined as ‘well-dressed” depending on who you ask. All of us work. In an office or at home. The stay-at-home moms, the single gals, the “wives” we all work. We work to build a better self, a better home, a better friendship, and in the end a better world. In my quest to be a lady who lunches I have built an amazing network of women I admire. Each week I sit down across from inspiring ladies who fill a niche in my life and heart each time I meet them. They are more than ladies who lunch they are:

The Ladies who Laugh: These are the ladies whether at lunch or cocktails or on the treadmill who have my side splitting with laughter. They celebrate life’s curiosities and quirks. They play pranks. They tell jokes. They sometimes are the brazen ones who say “ if you can’t say something nice, come sit by me”. They make my heart happy.

The Ladies who Listen: These ladies have had more than their share of me in the past year. They don’t criticize. They don’t interrupt. They don’t tell me how to do it their way or how much worse they’ve had it. They just sit. And nod. And listen.

The Ladies who Lead: Definitions of leaders vary. I define it as someone on a mission and that mission is greater than herself. She’s the one who will give her team the credit when they achieve greatness and she’ll take the blame when they don’t. She may be at the top of her career ladder. She may have an office full of plaques. She may have a impressive title. She may not have any of that. It doesn’t matter to her. Her mission is her purpose. She is secure in herself and just being around her encourages you to join her cause or find your own.

The Ladies who Lift: Cheerleaders. Perhaps. But it’s more than that. These are the women who are the rarest of gems. They see another woman’s potential…and they aren’t threatened. These ladies connect the dots. They make things happen for someone else. They take time to help another get to where she wants or needs to go. For me, these ladies are the ones who often see the place where I should go before I even recognize it. They share their experiences. Their wisdom. They share – not to brag – but to help. Their stories inspire and encourage. They are continuing their pursuit to be better themselves. They know the blessing of having others lifting them. And so – they lift while they climb.

I am blessed each week to include them in my flexible schedule. I am thrilled when I extend an invitation. My heart skips a beat when one of them suggests those three little words, “Lets do lunch”. Yes, these are ladies who lunch….and laugh, listen, lead, lift. Most of all they are ladies who love. Thank you, for being part of my life.

I may have to log on to wikipedia now and update a definition. I’m not “old money” but because of these ladies, I am as rich as can be.